PAGE NINE -- No. 18

by Alan Korwin, Author
Gun Laws of America



The Uninvited Ombudsman Report, No. 18
by Alan Korwin, Author
Gun Laws of America
Oct. 24, 2006


I'm proposing a new page for newspapers ("Page Nine" regardless of the page it runs on), that covers stories afresh, not the way news rooms typically flavor things. It would help reduce the distrust so many readers feel. It could be the most read page in the paper, a light breath of fresh air.

Here's a casual sample. It might make you say, "We'll NEVER run that!" but the page is being built around ad revenues from clear thinking mainstream businesses.

Alan Korwin, Author
Gun Laws of America
"The Uninvited Ombudsman"


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(searchable by item number)

1- Gunshot Saves Life
2- Muslims In Darfur
3- Spinach Is Poisonous
4- Nuclear Bomb Baloney
5- Special Guest Columnist --
Craig Cantoni: Media Overkill Over The Death Of A Police Officer

Coming soon: Eye-witness Minuteman report from the Mexico border.
The Uninvited Ombudsman will be down there for the next few days.


1- The lamestream media told you:
One boy fired one shot from one gun into one ceiling of one schoolroom in one state, Ohio, and his gun jammed, according to CBS, NBC, ABC, FOX, MSN, the AP wire, and newspapers nationwide. The tale was repeated for days in every city in America.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
A teenager in Corpus Christi, Texas, saved his mother and himself by killing a knife-wielding intruder in their home, with a single gunshot from his Dad's sidearm.

Rose Ann Kozlowski had just returned from buying groceries when the man appeared early Monday afternoon. Her son, 14, had come home from school because of illness, the Corpus Christi Caller Times reported, in a story picked up by virtually nobody else. "This is typical behavior for lamestream media," industry observers noted.

The intruder took Kozlowski and her son to the master bedroom, tied them up and looted the house, loading the booty into Kozlowski's car.

Kozlowski got loose, gave her husband's handgun to her son and tried to hold the door against the intruder, who police said "repeatedly threatened to kill them."

As the intruder forced the door open, the boy fired through the crack, hitting the perpetrator in the head and killing him instantly, Police Capt. John Houston said. "He took a life-saving measure to save his mother and himself," the police captain said.

News like this is deliberately suppressed, while victimless shootings are maliciously spread, to vilify guns, convince the public that guns have no decent purpose, and promote a lamestream agenda of hopeless victimhood, experts say.

The wildly promoted story of a harmless shot to the roof of a building in Ohio had no victim, no bloodshed, no trauma, no hero, and almost no news value, even near where it occurred.

The suppressed story of a shot to the head of a homicidal maniac in Texas had tense drama, blood and guts, victims who narrowly survived a felony assault, a hero, a dispatched criminal, commendations from the police who in typical fashion only arrived in time to pick up the pieces, American-style self reliance, and all the sensational values lamestream reporters and editors usually say they look for in a story. Knowledgeable observers say they lie.


2- The lamestream media told you:
The fighting and atrocities in Darfur are getting so bad politicians worldwide don't know what to do. The United Nations would send in troops, but Sudan will not allow them in, presumably so they can continue to rape and execute militias and the people of Darfur. A cry to have U.S. forces summarily invade the troubled region has been ignored by the State Dept. so far, which labels the situation a genocide.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
The Muslim government in Sudan appears determined to wipe out the Muslims in the Darfur region, because they hate each other. All the combatants are Black. The racial and religious nature of the conflict has been blacked out in virtually all mainstream news reports, but can be found easily by entering Darfur Muslims into a search engine, further enhancing the web's reputation for actually delivering news. Reporters either cannot do web searches for unknown reasons, or are suppressing the racial and religious information for unknown reasons.

Muslim nations that proliferate in the area have declined to step in and stop the Islamic warfare, for unknown reasons.

The deliberate suppression of context in the African nation's troubles might hurt news-media credibility, experts speculate. Because the average news consumer is clueless as to what is really going on, credibility may not be hurt, other experts believe.


3- The lamestream media told you:
Spinach is infected with E. coli and could kill you on the spot. The outbreak is a sign of much greater problems with American agriculture, and a lack of regulation on farm products, according to Marilynn Marchione of the Associated Press. The CDC estimates that germs in food kill 5,000 people every year. All spinach should be thrown away.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
A total of one person died from eating spinach due to a locally isolated outbreak of a common bacteria that is usually managed by adequate washing or cooking.

Spinach farmers were financially devastated by the health scare, and join apple farmers, cantaloupe farmers, salad bar restaurants and others in suffering at the hands of the "news" media. No charges against reporters have been filed.

Every time a breathless story about isolated deaths occur, in the name of protecting the public, public safety is actually compromised, because the real threats people face get ignored.

While 97 people were hospitalized in the recent spinach scare, it's important to recall that, on average in a year, more than 12,000 people will die by falling down, many in bathtubs, 6,400 will die from non-food poisoning, 4,100 from suffocation, 30,000 from suicide, many in pain and lacking health care, 4,600 from drowning, and the list goes on and on. Statistics courtesy the National Center for Health Statistics.


4- The lamestream media told you:
North Korea has set off its first nuclear explosion, making it the eighth nation in history to demonstrate possession of a nuclear bomb, according to every news outlet on the planet.

North Korea may not have actually set off a nuke, "news" sources continued later. The test may have been a failure. The yield may have been too low to actually count. The attempt was intolerable regardless. "News" sources awaited official word for days, watching the AP wire closely.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
Scientists and the governments who run them know instantly when a nuclear weapon is set off, since the seismic characteristics are unique, well known, easily spotted, and monitored constantly by inter-linked seismic stations everywhere, knowledgeable experts confirm.

Breathless reports uniformly failed to note that all the international "reaction" was staged saber rattling, prepared in advance and performed for the cameras.

Diplomats are well aware that North Korea, an independent nation working hard to develop nuclear weapons, is of course going to test the things once it has them. It has been preparing underground test sites for as long as it has been preparing the devices. The State Dept. knows but will admit none of this.

The United States, which has conducted more than 1,000 nuclear tests above and below ground, considers nuclear testing an essential ingredient in weapon development.

The so-called "Reliable Replacement Warhead" program currently underway in the U.S. is highly controversial because, in attempting to comply with the weapons test ban currently in effect, replacements for America's aging nuclear arsenal would have to be deployed without tests. This is considered absolutely unacceptable by top U.S. nuclear scientists, according to experts speaking on National Public Radio.

U.S. nukes are 'the most quality-controlled products ever produced,' and must be, according to military experts. The notion that North Korea or anyone else could make nukes that don't need testing is just stupid, according to people who know.

"The H-Bomb Secret" was the Progressive magazine article that in 1979 supposedly leaked all the key U.S. nuclear secrets, and federal agents desperately tried to suppress its publication.

It turned out that the government outrage was baloney, since the "secrets" disclosed were public information. No math, formulas, diagrams or blueprints were included, and the difficulty in making reactionable materials was omitted. Containing the nuclear explosives to achieve decent yield is so complex it was also not included, along with any manufacturing guidelines at all. The article was rejected by rogue states and scientists globally as no help, but it set the stage for government posturing for decades to come.

Reported U.S. policy and news about nuclear energy, true nuclear threats, and the nature of atomic weapons has more worthless fat than luncheon meat, experts say. The very real threat of thousands of cold-war nukes that can be stolen or bought from the poorly guarded, corroded walls and underpaid staff at former Soviet Union pestholes was not included in "news" about North Korea's feeble experimentation.

Images of the suspected North Korean nuclear test included aging non-stop footage of goose-stepping parade-trained pseudo-soldiers, olden displays of truck-mounted non-functional rocket shells, dignitaries paying homage to North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il in the distant past, and repeats of the above ad infinitum, without captions. The footage continues to air.


Special guest columnist report:
Special guest columnist report:

Personal friend and first-rate writer and columnist Craig Cantoni has been turning out Page-Nine worthy articles for years, and with his permission, the Uninvited Ombudsman plan to run and post some in coming months.

Craig does not pull punches, so you may find your ox skewered by his piercing wit and insights. Yes, my metaphor is mixed, but you will find his reasoning anything but mixed up:

Media overkill over the death of a police officer
By Craig J. Cantoni
October 2006

Call me a curmudgeon, a crank, a moron or something worse, but I don't understand why a police officer's death is bigger news than John Q. Citizen's death.

A case in point: A Tempe, Ariz. police officer died on his way home from work on Sept. 27, when his police motorcycle hit construction debris. The same day, a motorist on his way to work was involved in an accident on another metro Phoenix freeway. When he got out of his mangled car, a tractor-trailer truck ran over him. 

Both were tragedies for the individuals and their families, and we should feel sorrow and empathy for their loss. But both deaths were reported quite differently by the local media.

For example, the local FOX News station led with the police officer's death on its 5:00 p.m. news. For five minutes -- which is an eternity for local news -- it covered the story as if the young officer had been a hero and died a heroic death. Included were interviews with coworkers and friends, and pictures of police motorcycles outside of the hospital where he was pronounced dead.

At the end of the segment, a passing mention was made that the officer struck the construction debris after he had taken a short cut by driving around barricades on a closed freeway access ramp.

The same station spent only 15 seconds reporting the death of the citizen run over by the truck. The brief segment didn't include interviews with coworkers and friends, or pictures of family members at the hospital.

The next day, the Arizona Republic ran a 50-column inch story on the police officer's death, including a way to make donations to the unmarried officer's family and to post condolences on an online message board. There was no mention about the officer going around the barricades.

There also was no story about the citizen hit by the truck. But it's a safe guess that the citizen did not have a generous pension, medical insurance or death benefits. Nor will he be buried with bagpipes playing and rifles firing salutes.

Three days after the officer died, the local media is still covering his death.

It is said that police officers are in a dangerous occupation and thus deserve special recognition, regardless of their motives or how they die. But policing does not rank in the top ten riskiest occupations.

Timber cutters, who rank No. 1, risk their lives to provide us with wood products. Fishers, who rank No. 2, risk their lives to provide us with fish. And in descending order of risk, the rest of the top ten is as follows: pilots and navigators, structural metal workers, route sales workers, roofers, electrical power installers, farmers, construction laborers, and truck drivers -- all of whom risk their lives to provide us with essential goods and services.

The difference, some say, is that police officers run the risk of being shot in carrying out their job duties. That's a good point, but it's also a point that can be made about taxi drivers and convenience store clerks, few of whom have rich benefits or get 50 column-inches of coverage when they die in the line of duty.

Some police officers chose their line of work because they want to help people. Some like the job security and opportunity for early retirement. Some are macho jerks with high needs for status, power and authority. And a few do risk their lives to save others and deserve to be called heroes. To treat all cops as heroes though is an insult to the ones who are true heroes.

But what do I know? I'm a curmudgeon, crank, moron or whatever other insult you want to throw at me for having the temerity to question why a police officer's tragic death is more important than the equally tragic death of John Q. Citizen.

An author and columnist, Mr. Cantoni can be reached at

Visit his website dedicated to stopping government theft and abuse:

Read a review of his book about government abuse, Breaking From The Herd:



What would happen if Washington, Jefferson and Franklin suddenly found themselves in modern times? Read "Tempus Fugit" --A stunning achievement, eye-popping entertainment, critical thinking at its best.
Book review here:


See the official Journalist's Code of Ethics here:
Compare it to the news you see every day.


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Thanks for reading!
Alan Korwin
The Uninvited Ombudsman


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Alan Korwin
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Comments help keep me going. Alan.


Alan: Just a quicky. I am flabergasted by the use of the word "commemorate" in describing the activities that memorialize the souls that gave their lives because of the actions of terrorists. A memorial is fine, and those victims should be memorialized. "Commemorate" is too close to "celebrate" and 9/11 should not be a day of celebration. Thanks Alan. God bless you! --Charlie Rensing


Alan, For what it's worth my ISP, Sovernet did not block Page Nine #15, and the "N word." Like you I find the selective indignation over its use annoying when leftist/liberal politicians get a pass on using it while others are castigated for ever, even years ago, having used it. It also irritates me that the like of Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton get a pass for their frequent use of ethnic slurs against white minority groups. Another media "offender" by the way is the Cartoon Channel in its "Boondocks" programme where "that word" is a constant drumbeat throughout the show. --David Schnyer


I'm glad that you aren't niggardly with your time. --Dave Headstream


Too right! F**k the demo-communists! F**k Charles Schumer! F**k the ATF and the crippled bi*ch that sent them to WACO. And God bless America and f**k every last illegal alien! Any questions? --
Craig, Attorney at Law


We have been posting your column at American Daughter and it is very popular with our readers. It was suggested to us at the time of your very first column by two members of the NRA Board of Directors who also write for us, Budd Schroeder and Jay Printz.

Back in February, you approved our publication of your material with attribution. Now that you have your own weblog, we will reference that URL as well as giving attribution.

Nancy Matthis, Editor
American Daughter


A friend forwarded your "page nine" article about the "Minutemen Stirring Up More Dust." I have copied it, saved it and am forwarding it on for others to read.

I have not yet had opportunity to visit the web sites you list at the conclusion of your post, however I plan to investigate further. I am licensed with Concealed Carry license, and while being a retired ordained minister, I am also a patriot and believe in defending the 2nd Amendment and I heartily commend you and the other Minutemen for "doing SOMETHING!"

I deplore the jaded reporting by main-line "lamestream media," to use your apt descriptive phrase!

God bless you, Jess Dixon, Bakersfield, CA

[Note: "Lamestream" is a word I got from Chris Simcox, founder of the Minuteman effort, and he doesn't recall where he got it from, but thanks to everyone who has credited me for the word, I'm just its promoter. For those of you who "just want to DO something," see my Tactics That work pages:


Thank you !!! And keep up the great work your doing. Knowledge is power !!!! Thank you again. Richard Anderson, RMA





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