PAGE NINE -- No. 19

by Alan Korwin, Author
Gun Laws of America



The Uninvited Ombudsman Report, No. 19
by Alan Korwin, Author
Gun Laws of America
Nov. 3, 2006


I'm proposing a new page for newspapers ("Page Nine" regardless of the page it runs on), that covers stories afresh, not the way news rooms typically flavor things. It would help reduce the distrust so many readers feel. It could be the most read page in the paper, a light breath of fresh air.

Here's a casual sample. It might make you say, "We'll NEVER run that!" but the page is being built around ad revenues from clear thinking mainstream businesses.

Alan Korwin, Author
Gun Laws of America
"The Uninvited Ombudsman"



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(searchable by item number)

1- Post-election Gun Prices
2- Hillary's Objective Reporters
3- News "Stories" Unchanged
4- Minutemen Figures Posted
5- Left Bias Pronounced

6- Special Guest Correspondent Craig Cantoni figures out why government has deteriorated so badly

7- Corrections and Reader Comments

8- Special Guest Correspondent Charlie Cutshaw responds to Cantoni's remarks about idolizing police officers who kill themselves while breaking the law
[Coming soon to]



1- The lamestream media told you:
The Democrats are getting giddy with hope over their chances for taking over both houses of Congress, and Republicans are terrified at the prospect of Nancy Polosi as Speaker, and other leftists claiming the chair of influential committees that control what Congress does.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
The amount of power Democrats gain on Nov. 7, if any, will be directly related to a run on supplies and rapid rise in prices for firearms and ammunition immediately after the election, according to an expert who wishes to remain anonymous to protect his job.

If both the Senate and the House go to Democrats, demand and prices will skyrocket for primers, powder, brass, factory ammo and firearms of every type, according to reliable sources. Although guns have been kept out of the spotlight by both parties and the "news" media, the public inherently understands that Democrats are the leading enemy of gun rights in America, and will act on this belief.

Some political observers believe this may be a good thing because, if Democrats take one or both houses, a) the country will be reminded of what Dems are really like, b) their radical leftist notions will be exposed instead of back-burnered, c) anti-gun measures will come back with a vengeance, to a nation that has largely forgotten about that during Republican rule, d) President Bush will have to use his unused veto power, e) the burst in gun sales and accessories will be a helpful shot in the arm for the industry, and f) it will happen in time to effect the 2008 presidential election, when the nation's leading leftist, Hillary, will likely be the candidate.

Some pundits predict the Dems will trim back such policies to not jeopardize their chances in 2008. Prominent Democrats however are already calling for repealing the tax cuts (Rangel), defunding the military (Murtha), granting aid and amnesty for illegal immigrants (Franks), expanding welfare (Pelosi), banning guns for the public (Schumer) and other typically Democrat proposals.


2- The lamestream media told you:
John Spencer, a Republican, is trailing Democrat Hillary Clinton in the race for the New York Senate seat, by 37 points, a recent poll suggests. Spencer's remark about Clinton's alleged plastic surgery received extensive coverage and commentary everywhere. The balance of his platform was omitted for lack of space.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
Appearing together -- John Spencer, fighting Hillary Clinton for a U.S. Senate seat, John Faso, running against anti-gun-rights Elliott Spitzer for New York governor, Ron Schmeits, the next president of the NRA, and the Uninvited Ombudsman -- rocked a packed banquet hall in Rochester, NY, for SCOPE, the Shooters Committee On Political Education. Despite the stellar lineup and numerous announcements, not a single member of the lamestream media showed up. Not one.

No camera crews, no satellite trucks, no microphones, and no news on "the powerful gun lobby" leaked out, as media suppression of news about Hillary's opponent advanced unabated. Hillary's own solo appearances received heavy coverage.

Spencer's central message -- that the pro-rights crowd outnumbers the anti-rights crowd and will win if they all go to the polls -- never made it past the buffet line.


Prediction: Everyone forecast to win by leftist lamestream media, who doesn't win, will challenge the voting process and create unheard of turmoil, especially where hackable paperless electronic machines were brought in to eliminate voting problems. Some elections will never be satisfactorily resolved.


3- The lamestream media told you:
Iran is still sponsoring terrorism, North Korea is still being bad, China is violating civil rights, and people are asking the United States to intervene in Darfur.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
I can't keep covering the same stories over and over like the lamestream media does. For the record --

Iran is sponsoring the global jihad, North Korea is an independent nation doing what it wants to, communist red China is violating civil rights because that's what communists do, and the Muslims killing each other in Darfur have some nerve expecting the U.S. to intervene.

If we don't intervene (at great taxpayer expense and lethal risk to our armed forces), count on the "news" media to call us heartless, and if we do, expect them to say we're imperialist war mongers.

The world's Muslim nations have not commented publicly or offered any assistance to their Muslim kin reportedly suffering rape, pillage and genocide in the unfortunate, war-torn, panic-stricken, strife-filled, underdeveloped, deprived, impoverished, depressed, demoralized third-world African nation. U.N. diplomats have failed to point out the awkward silence.


4- The lamestream media told you:
Fiscal year 2006, which ended Sep. 30, saw reductions in illegal border crossing arrests from Mexico, officials say, showing that their increased efforts are working.

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff called it, "a significant turnaround in terms of the number of illegals that we are finding crossing the border," in a Monday announcement (Oct. 30).

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:
Arrests measure police activity, are independent from and do not measure criminal activity, and tell us nothing about the numbers of illegals flooding into the country. Chertoff's carefully worded statement is misleading at best.

When police step up enforcement, arrests generally go up. When they slow down, as they did after the April Minuteman muster on the border, arrests go down. The Washington Times reported that the Border Patrol was instructed to limit arrests after the muster to make the Minutemen seem ineffective.

If enforcement efforts truly are up as officials claim, it is not clear why arrests would go down. Reporters failed to inquire, or report the answers if they did inquire. Less than half the people attempting entry are caught, so there are plenty of extra suspects around to apprehend.

Touting an 8.5% reduction in arrests over the prior year seems hollow, when it represents 1.1 million captures, border watchers note. Unnamed border experts, quoted in the news by media "watchdogs" say that for every illegal caught sneaking into America, "two or three make it through."

Using a special investigative tool called a "calculator," that equals 2.2 to 3.3 million extra illegals now holed up somewhere in America this year alone. The Uninvited Ombudsman could actually do that math in his head, but cautiously relied on the tool to be safe.

Lamestream reports have been saying there are about 12 million illegals in the country since at least 2002. Adding the reported annual captures-and-escapes suggests the total is now between 19 and 25 million. Why the "news" media has failed to add the numbers together is unknown, but not attributed to poor math skills, according to leading experts. Some reporters are known to own calculators.

Less conservative estimates have put the number of illegals hiding in the country at 30 million, which with the new figures would be 38 to 42 million. The number of captures, though down slightly from last year, are up compared with 2001, 2002 and 2003, official BP figures show.

The only independent confirmation of escapees compared to captures comes from the Minuteman effort. Lamestream reporters failed to even mention they were holding a muster during the month of October.

Minutemen spotted 524 illegals during the border watch, of which BP captured 173, or 33%. The worst capture ratio occurred on 10/18 when 38 were sighted but none were caught. The best ratio was three days later, when all 14 sightings lead to captures.

Sightings are reported from outposts staffed by at least two people, over radio sets that everyone can hear, providing a high degree of data confidence. Only sightings sufficiently specific to dispatch Border Patrol agents are made. The sound of footsteps, vague noises, flashlights and similar questionable observations are not relayed to HQ for action.

Each morning at the Minuteman headquarters office on-site in the desert, the number of sightings are posted on a white board, along with running totals, and the numbers captured by the Border Patrol, according to their direct reports. The entire chart, along with photos and a complete Minuteman report from The Uninvited Ombudsman will be posted at soon. Use the blue Minuteman button.

According to a Gannett report published from Wash., D.C., Chertoff said, "the agency has spent the month since the fiscal year ended processing the numbers." Why a running total of arrests was not readily available to Homeland Security, as it was to the Minutemen operating only with volunteers, no budget and a white board, was unexplained, and no reporters asked about it. Why should they, when their entire story was an unquestioned rerun of the government handouts.

The statistics problem may rest with staffing levels or funding, since the Border Patrol only has 12,349 employees on the payroll, and a budget of $7.84 billion. (They have requested an additional $702 million taxpayer dollars for fiscal 2007).

According to insider news-media sources speaking in confidence to The Uninvited Ombudsman, reporters are encouraged to rely on official sources. This contributes to why modern "news" looks like it comes from lapdogs instead of a watchdogs, experts believe.


5- The lamestream media told you:
Political reporter Mary Jo Pitzl had a front-page story about a typographical error on a ballot for the Nov. election.  The error was associated with a ballot proposition to increase the tax on cigarettes by 80 cents per pack.  Because of the typo, the ballot refers to the increase as ".80 cent/pack," or less than a penny.


The Uninvited Ombudsman's good friend Craig Cantoni notes however that:
Pitzl began her story with typical left-wing bias, but has not been disciplined:

"Early-childhood-education and health programs on next month's ballot could lose millions of dollars if a misplaced decimal point is interpreted technically."

Pitzl could have written the following if she wanted to demonstrate a right-leaning bias instead of a left-leaning one:

"Smokers well not be forced to pay millions in taxes for the education and health care of other people's children if a misplaced decimal point is interpreted technically."

Or to be unbiased, she could have written: "Proposition 203 will generate millions of dollars less than intended if a misplaced decimal point is interpreted technically."

But what do I know?  I never attended journalism school. --CC

[This sort of news bias has become so common -- presuming that a government handout is the "right" of people who get it, and that people who work, earn the money, and are forced to hand it over don't count -- that news organizations won't even entertain criticism on the subject, or run letters pointing it out. For many readers, the slant that "government is your nanny and is always right" flies over their heads, and the propaganda aspect is simply absorbed. The news media continues to rapidly evolve into one of the greatest threats to freedom we face.]




Continuing a fine trend --
Special guest columnist report:
Special guest columnist report:

Personal friend and first-rate writer and columnist Craig Cantoni has been turning out Page-Nine worthy articles for years, and with his permission, the Uninvited Ombudsman will be running some of his best. Why is government so messed up? Craig knows.

Perspectives on Government
Then and Now
By Craig J. Cantoni

Then: "Government is not reason. Government is not eloquence. It is force, and like fire is a dangerous servant and a fearful master." --George Washington

Now: "We have a responsibility that when somebody hurts, government has got to move." --George W. Bush, 2003


The Nanny State
Then: "It is not the function of our government to keep the citizen from falling into error; it is the function of the citizen to keep the government from falling into error." --Justice Robert Jackson, United States Supreme Court, 1954 (American Communications Association v. Douds)

Now: The secretary of the U.S. Department of Transportation scolds a rock star for driving with her infant on her lap. A warning tag on my wife's hair dryer reads, "Do not use while bathing."


Then: "I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the acts." --Will Rogers

Now: PBS affiliate KAET-TV in Phoenix thanks the Arizona Department of Transportation for being one of its "Small Business Partners."


Then: "Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." --H. L. Mencken

Now: With few exceptions, establishment journalists are either shills for the big-government Left or apologists for the big-government Right. Journalists of Mencken's caliber, courage and independence exist primarily in the blogosphere.


Then: "If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen." --Samuel Adams

Now: Most Americans only know Samuel Adams as a beer.


Bread and Circuses
Then: "…the people that once bestowed commands, consulships, legions and all else, now meddles no more and longs eagerly for just two things -- bread and circuses." --Juvenal

Now: Tens of billions are spent across the nation, from the public treasury, to subsidize private stadiums for professional athletes and their owners.

Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA), chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, suggests that the committee investigate why wide receiver Terrell Owens was suspended by the Philadelphia Eagles. Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) demands that professional baseball do something about steroid use. Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX), chairman of the House Energy and Commerce Committee, calls a hearing to investigate how the national college championship is determined.


Then: "The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws." --Roman Senator Publius Cornelius Tacitus

"The only [legitimate] power government has is the power to crack down on criminals. When there aren't enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws." --Ayn Rand

Now: Tens of thousands of IRS regulations and more than 100,000 pages of Medicare regulations are but a small fraction of all federal regulations. Over half of federal prisoners are serving time for drug offenses.

[An estimated one to four million words of new law were added by Congress in the 2006 season, earning it a moniker as a "do-nothing" Congress my news-media watchdog dogs.]



An author and columnist, Mr. Cantoni can be reached at

Visit his website dedicated to stopping government theft and abuse:

Read a review of his book about government abuse, Breaking From The Herd:




Followup: on Cantoni's article about the police officer idolized for days as a hero, after killing himself while breaking traffic laws --

According to reliable talk leaking out of the fallen officer's Tempe Police Dept., motorcycle cops routinely avoided traffic by ignoring barricades at the construction site, and illegally used the closed highway ramp where the officer was recently killed. The officer was going full tilt when he hit construction equipment that had been recently moved there, sending him flying more than 150 feet to his self-inflicted death.

The equipment was gear for the controversial highly tax-subsidized light rail system being built, and may be the first reported light-rail death.

Lamestream reports have not followed up on this news, leaving intact the impression that he was a hero. One former policeman, upon reading about the incident, asked to be removed from Page Nine postings (see below). Others commended the candid coverage on this media-fueled unspoken travesty that intrinsically says government agents' lives are worth more than yours.






What would happen if Washington, Jefferson and Franklin suddenly found themselves in modern times? Read "Tempus Fugit" --A stunning achievement, eye-popping entertainment, critical thinking at its best.
Book review here:


Compare the official Journalist's Code of Ethics to the news you see every day:


Do something good for yourself -- get a book or two your school teachers would never recommend:



Thanks for reading!
Alan Korwin
The Uninvited Ombudsman


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Alan Korwin
"We publish the gun laws."
4848 E. Cactus, #505-440
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Comments help keep me going. Alan.


As a police officer with over 30 years of service (and still going), I find people who write articles like the one Mr. Cantoni wrote in your e mail quite objectionable.   Please immediately remove me from your mail list.   I was certainly dismayed to see you spread that one.

[Reply: I'll delete you of course, and I understand how you find his message objectionable. But he's right, you know. Plus, if this officer had followed the law, he would not have ended up killing himself.


Hi Alan. Cantoni is on target, propaganda funerals were perfected by the 3rd reich. --Landis


Great article, I look forward to seeing more of your writing in Page 9! I'll call you a clear-thinker :-) Thanks, Peter


Thanks for another great page 9. --Dick


Dear Alan, this is old cop Jack McLamb writing to tell you that I would love to get your page 9 on my e-mail so that I can use it on my 11 weekly radio talk shows, three networks  -  called - The Officer Jack McLamb Program. I will, of course, give your contact information when I use your reports to my audiences.

Thank you for all your years of effort on behalf of all Americans and the Republic.    You're an American hero brother Alan!! - Lord bless,   Jack McLamb
[Permission gladly granted]


mr. cantoni:
thank you for the article that i read on the page nine newsletter. there is much made of heroes today, both in the civilian sector and the military one.

people in public service, who die in that in that service, whether from their own actions or the action of others, are most often declared "heroes". you article clearly debunks this mislead way of thinking.

to simply die in the performance of your duty does not automatically make one a hero.  heroes do something exemplary in the course of their deaths.

i am glad that you have tried to make this point clear.  i have become tired of the mainstream media's continuing use of the word hero.  it has surely lost it's meaning for me, as i am sure it has for many.

i respect the heroic actions of some,  that the result of the action results in their deaths.  they are the true heroes.

thank you again for your article... best regards,  captain d. scully..........


Dear Mr. Cantoni;
I could not agree with you more.

What bothers me more is the fact that when there is a funeral for one of these "fallen heroes" that any and all cops are allowed to attend on the taxpayers dole. They should be allowed to attend only if they do it on their own time and not in police cars that WE all pay for.

But I would not dare broach this subject to any police department for fear of reprisals.

You are right in the reporting that cops get a very great pension, medical benefits and many other things that us ordinary citizens do do not get. I have even had the temerity to complain to the Arizona Legislature. They only say that cops and firefighters have a BETTER lobby. Oh, isn't that great! Sincerely, Tim


Alan, The murders,rapes in Dafur are the New Holocaust carried out by Muslims...Is the world silent like the One in the 30s and 40s???  --Leonard Mandel


I really enjoy what you write. --Jason.


Thanks for all your great work!! --Rick Fedourich


Dear Alan, You do a very nice job with your newsletter.


Please sign me up for Page 9. Thanks for telling us what is really going on. May God bless you and keep you. --Gerald


I loved your article on the media overkill of a police officer. i do think there are truly some great police officers who deserve the hero lable; but the media and a whole lot of other people treat them as heroes whenever they die, whether they were saving someone or got into a drunk driving accident.

I'm glad to see SOMEONE who can see the truth behind the media curtain, thank you. --Nate Elliott



Alan Korwin
"We publish the gun laws."
4848 E. Cactus, #505-440
Scottsdale, AZ 85254
602-996-4020 Phone
602-494-0679 FAX
1-800-707-4020 Orders
Call, write, fax or click for a free full-color catalog.


If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you're reading this in English, thank a veteran.


Special Guest Correspondent Charlie Cutshaw responds to Cantoni's remarks about idolizing police officers who kill themselves while breaking the law --
[Coming soon to]





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